Jane Wesman- author of ‘Dive Right In – The Sharks Won’t Bite: The Entrepreneurial Woman’s Guide to Success’- wrote this article featured on Entrepreneur.com (posted on August 6th, 2018). I strongly recommend that you read it, as some of what she wrote certainly hit home for yours truly.
In it, Wesman discusses the fact that three issues she explored in her book (published in the 1990s) remain obstacles for female entrepreneurs today. Such obstacles include: women’s need to achieve perfection before taking action (i.e. when launching a business); discomfort about discussing money/guilt about striving to achieve vast wealth; and, craving likability in business.
What bothered me about this list is simply that I agree with Wesman. Though, we have progressed in a variety of ways in the past couple of decades, gender politics still play a strong role for many women in business (whether they struggle with these issues themselves, or feel prejudice against them when they refuse to conform to such ideals).
Personally, I am not shy in regards to speaking about money (though I struggled to determine my fees in the beginning, I have a background in the financial industry, so perhaps my time among wealthy clients and individuals served me to be comfortable with finances and to realize my worth as a freelance writer), but perfectionism and likability have found their way into my business life more than I would prefer.
Perfectionism
I am a perfectionist. This is a good trait to have when writing for clients (whom I treasure), as error-free work is among what they pay me for; however, stalling in pursuit of perfection delays success. I do not have a quick fix for managing this trait, but I am aware of it. In order to refrain from allowing perfectionism to impede success in any aspect of my life, I strive to complete tasks well in advance of my deadlines, schedule time to review those things I am likely to stress over (all in my pursuit of perfection), and I set an absolute non-negotiable deadline for myself to deliver/post/complete, etc. (You’ll note that I give myself time to prefect the task/project, but once my own self-imposed deadline arrives, I complete the task and don’t look back.)
Money
In reference to women asking for more money (like their male counterparts), there are opinions (and data) concluding both extremes.
Consider this Harvard Business Review article that states that women ARE just as likely to ask for more money/raise than their male counterparts, but they are NOT as likely to receive it. I was surprised when I came across this article, as I thought it likely that women do not ask as often. Whether entrepreneurs or not, I hope that women ask, as such discussions can be had in a professional manner where all you’re really risking is rejection of a raise.
Who cares if the answer is “No”?
Wesman wrote that women are more likely to take rejection to heart. I understand that receiving a negative response when asking for a raise is disheartening, but if you’re working for someone else, wouldn’t you rather know how your work is valued? If you’re an employee, and you find that your colleagues (especially if junior or less-qualified than yourself) are making more than you, and you haven’t been able to negotiate for additional wages, then isn’t it time that you find a company who will recognize your value and assign a respectable wage to your work? (Yeah, it’s the hard road at first, but you’ll be less likely to hate the career you’ve worked so hard for down the line).
Alternately, Forbes published this article in 2016, which states that the research finding that women are just as likely to ask for a raise than men is misleading. In it, Kim Elsesser wrote about an experiment in which
… participants were told they’d be paid between between $3 and $10 for playing the game Boggle (a word search game). Once they completed several rounds of the game, the participants were given $3 by the experimenter, and told “Here’s $3. Is $3 okay?” If they directly asked for more money, they were paid $10. However, if they merely complained about their pay, they were not paid more.
Male and female participants thought they did equally well playing Boggle, so there was no gender differences in perceptions of their performance. Perhaps not surprisingly, men and women were equally likely to complain about only receiving $3 for their time. However, men were nine times more likely than the women to directly ask the experimenter for more money. The women just didn’t ask.
In my opinion, neither article is enough to determine whether or not women are less likely than their male counterparts to ask for or receive a raise conclusively, but the opposing views signal to me that women should ask- but research first (without falling into the trap of insisting on perfection! Research, but don’t stall!). If you know what your colleagues (and/or competition) are making, then great. If not, I hope that women (entrepreneurs or not) ascribe their own value to their work, and make a compelling (but succinct) case for a raise or more money to their clients or supervisors. If your work is not valued like you believe it should be, then perhaps it is time to make a change.
Likability
I hate this one. Even though I write very well, I feel that I sometimes come across as nice THEN professional in person (where I would much rather come across as professional THEN nice). It’s an aspect of gender politics that I think about (though, I have been told that perhaps “nice” is not all that bad. In a world that is fraught with stress and deadlines, sometimes being nice is a welcomed change. Maybe). Because of this likability issue, I admit that I work on my professional persona with some extra attention. Just recently, a group that I am a part of discussed the general differences in women’s speech patterns when compared to men (i.e. a higher instance of upper inflection within speech/asking questions rather than making statements). This article by Jessica Bennett sums it up rather well:
Women tend to have more versatile intonation patterns; they place more emphasis on certain words; they speak about more personal topics. And while the masculine style of communication at work is to give orders—as in, “Here’s what we need to do” or “We have to do better”—the feminine style is to persuade. “I have an idea that I want you to consider.” Or she may phrase her idea as a question: “What do you think of this approach?”
At the end of the day, all of us have our strengths and individual styles of communicating. Before addressing the noted three issues, communication styles and personal levels of comfort need to be evaluated, as our differences can give each of us the edge, depending upon industry and personal goals. My wish for every female entrepreneur and professional is that they review what Wesman wrote, and be aware of whatever habits they have that could contribute to their languishing success.
I like that Jane Wesman included the below in her article,
But most importantly, we’re finally recognizing that women really do view and run their businesses differently than men and that they need the support of other women to learn and grow. This plays out in women-only networking groups and even in shared workspaces for women. Women feel comfortable supporting and confiding in each other.
Collaboration, like our differences, is powerful.
Figure out who you are, develop your brand, align your mission and values to your business, find your audience, and hustle until you achieve your personal definition of success.
Give your life the green light. It’s A Go!
Amber Green